‘If you have a question, someone else in the room probably does too. ‘
My old business partner (back in my parkour days) gave me this piece of advice and it radically altered my leadership.
It’s a very simple idea: if you have a question, there are likely others in the room with a similar question, also hesitating or hoping someone will ask it first.
Whether or not that’s always true true, the very premise of it unlocked something for me. It gave me permission to trust my gut and speak up. And once I began asking my uncomfortable questions, I realized something else: saying “no” or “wait” or “help me understand” didn’t just help me. It helped those around me too. Nodding heads, deeper conversation, words of thanks after the fact for speaking up. Each time, reinforcing the idea further and encouraging me to use my voice more.
I’ll admit, even a decade later, I still occasionally hesitate. But when I look back, I’ve never regretted speaking up. It’s made me a better leader and a better board member.
So here are three reminders that might help embolden you… whether you’re a new board member, an emerging leader, or just trying to find your voice too.
Reminder 1: Dissent is your Duty
Did you know that nonprofit board members and leaders have a fiduciary duty of care?
That means you’re legally obligated to show up, pay attention, and raise concerns when something doesn’t add up. It means you are required to use your independent best judgment when participating in board decisions… and to treat it as seriously as you would in making any decision you’d make for yourself personally or professionally.
Dissent is your legal duty… which means silence in the face of doubt is an abdication of that duty.
Reminder 2: Your Expertise Has a Voice
You were invited to join the board because you bring a perspective the room needs. Maybe it’s finance or human resources, or management experience, or sector knowledge. Maybe its lived experience relevant to the mission (as an artist, as a parent, as a [fill in the blank], etc.)
Whatever it is, that expertise is worthless if you don’t use it.
Saying no or asking that pressing question is how your expertise becomes valuable to the group. I know it’s uncomfortable (especially when you’re new or when you’re challenging a popular idea.)… But ethical and exceptional leadership requires discomfort.
Reminder 3: Know the Limits of Dissent
So, you’ve done it. You’ve spoken up. You’ve debated and listened. And now it’s time for the group to make a decision… and you still don’t agree.
This is a common and difficult reality that not enough board members know how to navigate.
Healthy organizations understand and live by a fundamental leadership principle: disagree and commit.
There is a is a time to raise your concerns, make your case, listen to others. And then, when the decision is made by the group, there is the time to commit.
Fully, wholly.
No side conversations. No continuing the debate behind closed doors after the meeting ends. No waiting to say “I told you so.” The group did it’s diligence and made a decision and you now need to be all in, supporting the success of the decision.
So if you get here, and still find yourself truly unable to support the direction the board is taking… not just mildly uncomfortable, but fundamentally opposed… Here’s the thing to remember: you aren’t stuck. You aren’t required to go along with it.
If you can’t commit, you can step away.
Resigning might seem extreme but the truth is… staying while unable to commit helps no one. It compromises your integrity and the board’s cohesion, and makes failure more likely, not less.
Remember this above all else: Nonprofit organizations need your courage.
If you’re sitting in a meeting with a question… Ask it.
If something feels wrong… Say something.
If you disagree… Make your case.
Speaking up isn’t a disruption… it’s exactly what you’re there to do…And someone in that room might also be waiting for permission to say what you’re already thinking.
Be the one who speaks first.
💡Keep Learning: Three things you can do as a board to be more effective this year.
Dissent isn't disruption, it's the fiduciary courage boards desperately need to fulfill their duty of care